The Best Years of Your Life… Now!

The last post shocked some of you? GOOD!

The greatest single barrier to real permanent change is your ego.

It doesn’t want to change anything. It will rationalize everything in order to maintain status quo. That’s it’s job. Your ego is actually like a piece of software with a single mission:

Preserve, support and rationalize whatever “truth” is currently held as your reality by your unconscious.

This means your intellect, your attitudes, opinions and beliefs are all orchestrated by your ego to do nothing more than filter your perception of life in a manner which is in perfect resonance with your unconscious belief.

Get that?

Your ego and your personality is not who you really are.

They are subject to instantaneous change yet designed to resist and avoid any change. Sounds like a dichotomy doesn’t it? But, then, all real truth is a dichotomy: Both polar extremes are equally true and exist simultaneously.

When you can “see” the validity of the polar opposites – that ability is how you measure enlightenment.

Okay, back to the “change thing”…

Up to now in these posts I’ve been discussing the “outer” approach to creating change. It’s what we’ve all been conditioned to accept as the “best” process – you know, change what you think, etc. Sure it works, but it can take weeks, months and years of “work” – and you can still fall right back to where you started with the right “trigger”.

So it’s time to start talking about real permanent change that doesn’t require a jolt of emotional trauma to get you started…

In the next post I’m going to discuss what I’ve learned about real permanent change – what it really is and how you make it happen.

Bob Baran
Author of Intentional Prosperity™
Creator of the “Quantum-Hypnotics™” System
for permanent dramatic change.

This is gonna hurt!

6. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Oh, the excuses. The feeling of being overwhelmed. The hyper-sensitivity and fragile – “you could kill me with a word” – demeanor. Stop it already.

That shit worked when you were five years old and not since. Unfortunately, life allowed you to keep getting away with it until your ego began using it as your “shame on you – pity me” dagger. Always waiting for the right moment for you to take it out -and stick somebody with it.

Usually the people closest to you…

Yeah, talk about the perfect way to avoid taking personal responsibility!

You’re the center of the universe and whatever happens to you is so much more intense, deep, horrible, unfair. Just wait until the right “word” triggers your “emotional unloading” – even if the words were innocent – you are always ready to assume the worst intent and take out your dagger.

Then it’s always their fault. They “said” something – and it triggered your personal beat down. You feel like hell so you lash out. Nevermind that it was a complete misunderstanding.

Your feeling sorry for yourself is killing you and those closest to you

Especially when it’s your out of control “5 year-old ego state” that’s taken over and making sure anyone within listening range is gonna feel as bad as you do…

This whole victim thing makes you a victim and keeps you excusing your stuff instead of fixing your stuff. So we’re populated by a world of out of control baby ego’s – so easily ruffled and bruised. Always ready to be offended by just about everything and – this is the worst part – always taking things out of context – as fuel.

I’m sick of it in myself

I’ve ruined friendships through the years and probably relationships – and never fully realized the reason – until recently. Yeah, at last. I’m tired of being an emotional cripple who can put on a great “face”. Suffering in silence because I choose to. Maybe because of some faulty programming that has been reinforcing “my brat” my entire life.

I’m declaring a personal war on emotional self destruction and sabotage!

Who’s with me?

Bob Baran
Author of Intentional Prosperity™
Creator of the “Quantum-Hypnotics™” System
for permanent dramatic change.

How to take the “bitter pill”…

Trying to organize what became a trial and error process for me is a bit challenging – but I’ve come up with a few rules of engagement. If you engage your experiences this way there’s a good chance you may realize something about yourself that could result in an epiphany or two.

And, personal growth is really a series of personal epiphanies – right?

1. Take complete responsibility!

Your ego and sense of justice will be screaming at you – but if you can detach yourself from the pain long enough to get really objective – with the objective being: Seeing how you actually “set-up” the situation, “compromised your truth” – ignoring the red flags – or “sold yourself” – you know, you wanted it so bad to be the way you wanted it to be – you ignored all the signs warning you that it wasn’t.

2. Which were the “key” decisions which changed the trajectory of the situation?

You can probably point to certain “key” instances where you “set-up – compromised or sold yourself”. Think about it – those moments will come back into your memory.

3. What were the circumstances which led you to make those choices during those “key” instances?

I’m a firm believer that nothing happens in a vacuum. More often than not those key decisions may have been your reacting to a myriad of things. Was this the case? Or, did you consciously and knowingly “set-up, compromise or sell yourself”?

Now here’s the dichotomy: if you are actually taking responsibility – you were the “cause” whether or not you were reacting or in fact causing… Because if you are taking full responsibility – you are always in full control of how you react or how you cause. You can’t have two different ways of acting – this is the big truth of it.

4. When the situation occurs again – and mark my words, it will – maybe on a different stage, a new script and actors – but the very same situation will again happen to you – what will you do next time?

Are you going to remember what you learned about yourself? Or, are you going to fall back into your old habits which were responsible for how the original situation turned out?

You’ll get your chance – your next test is coming soon.

Bob Baran
Author of Intentional Prosperity™
Creator of the “Quantum-Hypnotics™” System
for permanent dramatic change.

Your biggest enemy is complacency

The only real advantage of contemplating change during the grieving process after the emotional trauma is that you’ve got “pain motivation” to nudge you forward. As I mentioned in an earlier post in this series there is the danger of seeking immediate relief from the “pain” that could cause you to seek “ego mollifiers”.

This is where you automatically start blaming and rationalizing your victimhood. You have to be careful at this point because that’s just an automatic reaction of your ego protection mechanism. It will do anything it can to seek immediate relief from confusion and anxiety.

Here’s where you can get complacent

As soon as you feel relief you start falling back into your old habits. You naturally associate anything having to do with your emotional trauma as something you want to avoid. Then it’s really just a matter of time before another emotional trauma appears. Cause you never did anything to change the “infrastructure” which continues to support the trauma inducing aspects of how you think and act…

So you’ve got to reinforce your determination to change things!

In the midst of the pain and confusion you must “intend” (literally a forceful verbal declaration) that you will never again experience the situation that caused the pain…

I’ve done this several times during my life. There are two times I can point to that are dramatic examples – with magical outcomes.

New Years Eve 1969 I was alone – I distinctly remember saying “next year it will be different”. New Years Eve 1970 I was playing in a band in one of the biggest nightclubs in Illinois… Just west of Chicago.

And recently: In midst of my shock from receiving divorce papers on Christmas Eve 2009. All alone – it was the worst night of my life. I remembered that New Years Eve so many years before – and boldly “intended” that “this would turn out okay… Something better was coming”.

I celebrated last Christmas Eve at Disneyland with my new “family”

I’ve read many authors claiming that the Universe reacts to strong emotional intention. In those two instances the intense emotion I felt when I made those declarations were incredibly strong. I can point to other similar life moments and astonishing outcomes.

But it’s important to note:

I never went into the experience of emotional trauma with the idea I was going to use it to manifest some kind of wonderful outcome… It was more like an instant of clarity where I punched through the noise of my emotion and for a brief moment chose another reality – the opposite of what I was experiencing… A new better reality that came to pass.

Obviously something profound took place

Because from the instant of those “intentions” the trajectory of my life changed – I started doing things differently than before the trauma. I wasn’t actually aware of doing anything differently because it was completely natural and effortless.

I believe I had altered myself at the core of my unconscious – instantaneous “self-hypnosis” that radically changed my expectations.

Resulting in a dramatic permanent change in my life.

But I don’t want to go through that kind of emotional pain, do you? That’s why I’m going to take you through the steps I learned since 2009 to make real permanent change take place in your life…

We’ll examine “the game you play with yourself” in the next post. It will explain how you can extract “life lessons” from your trauma. Lessons that will give you a much clearer picture of what you really believe about yourself – an essential ingredient for making real change happen.

Tomorrow we’ll take the “bitter pill” together.

Bob Baran
Author of Intentional Prosperity™
Creator of the “Quantum-Hypnotics™” System
for permanent dramatic change.

Ready to swallow the pill?

Okay, in order to do this you must accept this premise:

You are the sole architect and engineer of your life.

Everything that has happened to you is the direct result of your permission – whether consciously given or (and this is important) unconsciously given.

This concept of your “giving permission” for the good and bad in your life is going to run head-on into your highly evolved sense of self. In other words, your ego/personality is going to scream at you! Then it’s going to shove layer upon layer of rationale of why it can’t possibly be your fault.

This initial “cement wall” of inner resistance IS NORMAL!

That’s why you have to tell yourself (at first) this is an “intellectual exercise” – kind of like a mind-game you’re playing for just a little while. This will allow you to close down the “threat level” your ego is reacting to.

Like saying: “It’s okay – we’re just playing a game right now – you’re safe”…

You need to do this to effectively bypass your “critical mind’s” automatic reaction to contemplating different possibilities… You’ve got to remember that your ego is designed to maintain “status quo”. Anything it senses as a challenge to the attitudes, opinions and beliefs – it relies upon to justify itself – causes it to go into an immediate “panic/anxiety” state. That’s the result of the hard-wiring – it’s just doing it’s job… It’s normal.

So you must give yourself permission to change the automatic reaction of your ego/personality – in order to get it not to react. That’s why you need to approach this like you’re playing a game – pretending.

This is so you can engage in a direct dichotomy with yourself…

Stepping back and examining how you were responsible for setting in motion the trajectory of events which led to your most recent “emotional trauma” – without triggering your automatic “it’s not my fault” ego-response mechanism.

Think about this…

Bob Baran
Author of Intentional Prosperity™
Creator of the “Quantum-Hypnotics™” System
for permanent dramatic change.