I am convinced that the fear of happiness is the result of a conditioning process.

Happiness is a form of passion.

It is a “letting go and surrendering to” kind of experience. The problem is all to often as children we are reprimanded, criticized or punished when we have “let go” and indulged in unrestricted fits of happiness.

So what happens? We associate our natural healthy desire for happiness, which is for all intents and purposes the process of finding our passion with an activity that will ultimately bring us a negative outcome. We avoid anything that brings us emotional pain or discomfort. If we have been conditioned to feel bad, because someone told us it was wrong to feel the joyful out of control feeling that comes with being happy, then it’s no surprise that we may justify living a life with little real happiness. The worst case is actually believing that this empty life is the way we are supposed to live… A so-called “normal life”.

The net result is the lack of passion and a fear of happiness.

You don’t look for happiness and you become concerned about experiencing it. Your fear of upsetting your current “applecart” is so great you create layer upon layer of rationale. It effectively acts as a fence keeping the potentially life changing effects of happiness distanced from your life.

That ongoing conditioning results in you justifying and accepting a life which is very controlled, predictable and consistent. You do what you believe you are expected to do. You live a life where joy and fulfillment are always second to the maintaining of your “responsibilities”. Happiness becomes little more than a dull calm instead of the source of energy it is supposed to be.

The first responsibility you have is to live a life where joy and fulfillment is your priority.

Every medical and mental health authority backs up the notion that people who are happy and fulfilled tend to be in better physical and mental health. It should be no surprise that the largest single class of prescribed drugs happens to be anti-depressants!

You can’t cure repressed or denied joy and fulfillment with a drug.

-Bob Baran