Published by Bob on 05 Feb 2008
Predicting A Mid-Life Crisis
Mid-life crisis. Think it can’t happen to you?
Few if any of those who have experienced this radical transformation thought it would ever happen to them. It’s the kind of thing you see in the movies or read about in books. But it happens. People who seem to be stable just go off the reservation one day…and if you think it only happens to men, think again.
Statistics indicate it may actually be more prevalent in women. It’s just not called “mid-life crisis” when it happens to a woman. It’s called “doing something for myself”…
Whether a man or woman has the “crisis” one thing is for sure: Marriage seldom if ever survives. (I’ll save talking about the aftermath for another article) What I want to do here is give you a personal observation:
You can “see” a crisis coming 10 to 15 years before it actually happens! Here’s what to look for:
1. Married in his or her early twenties.
2. Little or no relationship experience before marriage.
3. Focused on raising children or career.
4. Not “present” with feelings. Tending toward passive/agressive behavior in the marriage.
5. Feels as if “something is missing” in his or her life. (This may go on for several years)
6. Lack of true intimacy in the relationship. Although most men do not understand this until after the crisis. Women on the other hand feel this as a disconnection during the marriage.
7. A feeling that your significant other doesn’t understand you.
8. Sex is routine or non existent. Romance is not an important part of the marriage.
9. Consistent day to day sameness (all aspects of life) bordering on boredom.
10. A very real fear that time is running out.
11. The “wronged” spouse never saw it coming. This is caused by a lack of awareness and sensitivity. Simply stated: The result of taking your spouse for granted.
My wife Gwen and I deal with this subject (as well as others) in our new up coming book. I will continue to address “mid life crisis” in future blog postings. I’m sure some of what I posted here will cause a reaction. We can all benefit from an open discussion of this very real phenomenon.
Have an opinion about it?
