I’m an advocate for self examination on a regular basis.

What I’m talking about is the introspective kind. Asking yourself the tough questions: Are you happy? If not why? Answering those two questions honestly and fearlessly, will usually pull the plug that’s been blocking many feelings.

The feelings may be both positive and negative.

The funny thing about we humans is that we find it much easier to express the reasons for our happiness than the reasons for our unhappiness. Reasons for unhappiness tend to get overlooked because they, well, make us unhappy to think about them.

If you could distance yourself emotionally from the feelings that come up when you ask yourself if you are happy… you’ll be able to take a deeper look at the cause of your unhappiness. You may also be able to find a solution.

It will usually fall into one or two categories:

1. Changing how you are reacting to a situation or a relationship.

2. Removing yourself from the situation or relationship.

Okay, I realize these may seem simplistic, too black and white… What you’ll find as you work your way through the “grey” areas, which are the building blocks of all situations and relationships, the root of the problem is going to fall into category one or two.

So you might as well work backwards.

Do you have the desire and energy to repair situations and relationships which are making you unhappy? If you don’t they are going to fall into category two. On the other hand, if you have the desire and the energy to “fix” and improve a situation or a relationship then by all means begin to examine what aspects are causing you to not be happy…Then do something about it! Starting with the way you have been reacting.

Sometimes a simple house cleaning is the answer to unease or unhappiness. You have to throw out stuff that’s broken and decide what’s still valuable enough to warrant the time and effort to repair it!

-Bob Baran