The Best Years of Your Life… Now!

A funny thing happened to me today that got me thinking.

I went to a web site that featured “experts”. As I clicked on the “goal setting experts” a big list opened up.

Out of the first 10 names on the list, 9 of them had absolutely no content or description of any kind. No way to get in touch, nothing. Just names floating in space…Names of people who consider themselves to be experts on “goal setting”.

Excuse me! How about setting some goals here people!

I thought it was one of the funniest things I had seen in a long time because these people didn’t have a clue as to the message they were really communicating. Which was: “I don’t practice what I preach”…Or they would have set a goal to put their information together.

Isn’t “goal setting” also about not dropping the ball?

Now do you think I would ever take someone like that seriously?

The bottom line is this: Life is too short to waste time on someone who claims to be an authority about something and fails to reflect that knowledge and wisdom in their lives and through their actions.
I’m from the old school: The proof is in the pudding!

The only way you get insight is to go through an experience which causes you to evolve into a new paradigm. You know, an epiphany or “ah ha” moment. “A sudden intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something” (from dictionary.com) I’m talking about that point of enlightenment when everything changes and you achieve yet another degree of clarity.

Someone who professes to be a authority is supposed to be a source of the the practical application of those epiphanies…

Which he or she experienced first hand…
Otherwise all they offer is theory or conjecture.

If they don’t apply what they claim to know to their own lives then maybe they really don’t know so much after all…

Hey, if they haven’t yet had that most basic of all epiphanies: (“Physician heal thyself”) Maybe they need to set some goals!

-Bob Baran

Sometimes a good person can hold onto a bad feeling which takes on it’s own life. I’m talking about a “grudge”.

Having a grudge is a symptom of feeling betrayed and wronged by someone. The grudge builds over time because you are unable to address this situation with that person in a manner that brings closure. So you continue to replay the situation and every time it happens you are still powerless to change the outcome.

No matter how you think about what took place it will always turn out the way it does.

You were hurt and betrayed by someone… and a part of you wants get even. You want them to feel the same pain you feel.

Because you physically are unable to do that (which is good!), you do it in your mind. Where it festers and robs you of your energy. Pretty soon you are surprised at how this grudge begins to color many other aspects of your life, like your attitude and expectations.

Now it’s time to do something for yourself.

You must decide to break the control, the person or situation which caused the grudge, has over you. That’s right you are still under the control of what has now become just a memory. There is only one solution which will once and for all free you from the shackles of this unresolved memory.

FOGIVENESS!

Only you can use the power of forgiveness to, once and for all, break the “loop”. Replaying the memory of the unresolved situation that has now become a painful memory. It’s probably not even a memory anymore it’s just a feeling.

Forgiveness is actually your way of really getting back at the person who wronged you! How is this possible?

When you are able to think about a situation or an individual with a complete lack of emotion (dispassionately) you have taken back the control you lost to what triggered the feeling associated with the person or situation. In other words you and you alone can have the final “say so”. You have the power to make the situation finally go your way.

Forgiveness gives you the ability to say “I’m through with you…because I now feel nothing what-so-ever about you or the situation…therefore I win!”.

Forgiveness does not absolve anyone of responsibility. It only acts as means to free yourself from any further pain. I’ve written an article on forgiveness you can read here. The principle of forgiveness is covered in depth in the 24 lesson “Intentional Prosperity™ Essentials” online interactive program.

I believe forgiveness is a powerful healing process that is always in your own best interest…because it puts you back in control… and one of the reasons a grudge continues to grow over time is because the anger you feel gives you a false feeling of control… Only forgiveness really puts you in control and allows you to have the final “say so”.

So forgive and keep forgiving until you have no emotional reaction to the person or situation with which you been holding on to the grudge with.

-Bob Baran

Our busy lives steal our energy.

So much of our attention is placed on those activities “outside” of our selves, we often fail to give our inner self the attention it deserves. This lack of attention results in a disconnection and feeling like we are not grounded or are even “missing” something.

This is an unbalanced way to live.

It’s very much like watching a movie and then walking into the picture because you forgot you were sitting down. As a human you are both the observer and the participant. If you disconnect with the observer part, you are not going to feel like a whole person.

One of the symptoms of being disconnected from the observer (in you) is a lack of passion. On the other hand, when your lifestyle and activities embrace all of your self, passion begins to flow in your life. You don’t feel like you are just going through the motions. You feel “alive”.

When was the last time you felt passion?

Finding your passion and following your passion is the greatest adventure any of us can take. Sometimes you need to take stock of the reality of your day to day life. If you find that a lack of passion has become normal, you may want to rethink the direction your life is going in… and make a change.

-Bob Baran

Hi, Gwen here… Bob said such nice things about me in his blog yesterday, what could I do but give him a day off from blogging.

The last time I posted I ended with commitment as a topic for another blog. It seems that this would be a good time to talk about commitment and fear of commitment. The friend Bob mentioned does have a fear of committing and he’s not the only one. Most of us have a challenge of some degree when it comes to making a firm promise of our time, life or love.

It isn’t so much a problem of commitment as it is of follow through. How many times have you or someone you know said, “Let’s do lunch.” Or “We must get together sometime.” For some, this is a daily conversation. How often do you “do lunch” or “get together” with that person? Occasionally, regularly or never… It is easy to say you are going to do something, but it is the follow through that makes the commitment.

So what are you having trouble with committing to or following through with today?

• Is it your time? Perhaps to your child’s school, to a project you know needs to be completed or to that friend who really would like to “get together” sometime.

• Is it your life? Are you afraid to commit to a course of action that you know will change your life for the better?

• Is it your love? Is there someone who you are involved with that “might be the one”? But you are unsure or feeling trepidation and anxiety? Usually those feeling are there to protect you. But are they keeping you from the greatest adventure of your life? The opportunity for true love. Is it really your fear of commitment getting in the way?

What can you do about these fears or lack of follow through?

Start with facing them. Ask yourself questions…

• Regarding your time: Are you avoiding doing something you really don’t want to do but made the promise to someone that you would? If you sincerely don’t want to do whatever you said you would do, talk to that person. Or buck up and do what you said you would do and move on. Nothing is worth making yourself sick over. And believe me if you keep thinking about what you’ve promised to do and haven’t it will eat away at you until you do it or deal with it.

• Regarding your life: What are you afraid of? Will making one little change drastically change your life? Would that be a bad thing, changing?

• Regarding your love: Are you a commitment phobe when it comes to relationships? Do all your relationships fail? Why is that? Be honest…

If your gut is always in turmoil and you eat antacids like candy, you probably are having a challenge with commitment at some level in your life. Are you ready to change?

Are you ready to make a commitment to change? We can help. The Intentional Prosperity™ System was designed to take you step by step through getting to know how things work and then shows you how you can make the process work for you.

As you move through the program, all the commitments you are being challenged with will come into clear focus and you will know what to do with them. Take action or let them go.

A commitment is a promise. Promise yourself your dream life today.

I know I asked a lot of questions here, but I hope I also gave you some answers. Bob will be back tomorrow with more observations, tips and “ah-ha’s”.

Take care and take charge of your dreams,

- Gwen Baran

Hey did you see the picture of my wife Gwen on our website www.intentionalprosperity.com ?

Does she make me look good or what!

We’ve just completed our 8th year together a few weeks ago. It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was a single man in his late 40′s looking for true love. Then one day I was introduced to Gwen. I felt safe with her. Strange thing for a man to say? I don’t think so.

Three and a half years before I met her I had gone through a divorce after almost 23 years of marriage. By the time I met Gwen I knew exactly what I was looking for: A pure heart.

I was trying to explain this to a male friend of mine who is going through a recent break up. I told him that when he looks at a woman with his heart instead of his eyes, he will become blinded by real beauty.

The only way you can “see” this way is from your own heart. Not your ego, intellect, emotions or your five senses.

You must unwrap the layers of protection you have surrounded your heart with and become completely vulnerable. This will make you sensitive to the person who has also made their heart open and vulnerable. You will recognize each other. You will feel safe with each other… and you will experience true love with each other.

In order to unwrap your heart, you must begin to deeply and completely love and accept yourself.

This is not easy. It may be the hardest thing you ever do…but it is the most important thing you will accomplish during your lifetime.

For only through the journey you take which opens the doorway to your heart, will your light become the beacon which draws to you, the one you seek. Her light will also open your eyes as you recognize yourself in her… and she and you will know each other. Because it has only been the illusion of time which has temporarily kept her from your view. Time you have used wisely to become a better man.

-Bob Baran