“Thou” shalt not covet they neighbors goods”… It’s hard for me to believe that many people still deal with feelings of envy.

It’s hard to believe because everyone has a different life path, things to learn and will encounter and create a series of things and experiences which fulfill that learning process…

People have things to learn?

That might be difficult to fathom when you see a “neighbor” who is enjoying something you desire deeply. When I was single and desired the experience of true love, I recall reacting very emotionally when I encountered it between other people.

It was a two-edged sword: On one hand I was gratified to sense it and feel it, as it bolstered my belief that it was possible… that it indeed existed. You could say seeing others experiencing it was an inspiration which said “I can experience this too”.

The other side of the coin was the feeling of emptiness and longing I also experienced because I didn’t have it myself. I didn’t want to take it away from someone else but I was very aware that it was missing in my own life.

Would this feeling fall into the category of “envy”? I think not.

Envy is the desire to take from someone some thing or experience that you don’t have yourself. It’s a form of anger at a person because he or she has a thing or experience you believe you deserve and also believe he or she doesn’t deserve.

Feeling cheated out of what you believe you deserve or anger at what you think someone else deserves, is envy.

The mistake here is setting yourself up as the judge and jury for what other people’s life experience are supposed to look like. That is out of your realm. The only right to judge you have, is what is acceptable for your experience of reality… if someone’s lifestyle is breaking the law, society already has a process for dealing with those issues. If you are affected by what someone owns to the point where it no longer acts as an inspiration but creates anger, your real issues are with yourself and your feelings of being inadequate.

The most insecure part of yourself is your ego.

The ego is first to judge others and will do so only to make itself feel better. That’s the only reason. Your true self, will use the accomplishments of others as a means of expanding what is possible. This is a very different mindset than anger, jealousy and envy. Taking something away from another person because you believe that person has an unfair advantage over you, completely negates the possibility that you can create for yourself a similar thing or experience. If you prevent someone from a thing or experience, by extension you too could be prevented from the same thing or experience…

This is why Americans have traditionally rejected such things as income distribution and taking from the “haves” and giving to the “have-nots”. The underlying reason is very basic: If you take away the possibility of achieving a certain thing or experience from all individuals you minimize “hope”. Since hope is what lies behind “the pursuit of happiness” you take away the individual’s right to discover for themselves what brings them joy and fulfillment.

Having a few individual’s who’s excesses seem out of control is a small price to pay in order to protect your own free will and the ability to find out for yourself, what things and experiences are worth striving for.

To preserve the pursuit of your happiness means you must allow others the freedom to pursue theirs.

Envy, jealousy and anger if acted upon in a manner which limits what is possible will have the effect of stifling the very creative impulse which is responsible for everything we currently experience as reality, outside of the natural world.

-Bob Baran