I had an interesting response to my recent blog about envy: What if my fear of other people’s envy (of me) prevents my success?

I was taken aback when I heard this. I hadn’t considered what other people thought of my own success for such a long time that I had forgotten that there indeed was a time when “how other people would react” was actually something I considered. In my case I didn’t think of what I was accomplishing in my life as having success. I’m just living a lifestyle that let’s me live life on my own terms. Having good things and experiences in my life is just a natural by-product of how I choose to live. I never think about how it’s going to affect someone else as far as their being envious.

I remember very distinctly when I was in high school, being laughed at the first day of my sophomore year because I was wearing a shirt I thought looked cool. It was wild, multi-color fruit print…very bold, very loud. I never wore that shirt to school again. The next time I wore that shirt I was playing in a band…Suddenly, it was cool because I was cool.

That was just one of the experiences which led me to not consider how other people were going to react to my success. I always figured if they were not supportive I didn’t need them in my life. More importantly, If I had people in my life who had influence over my decisions who would be negative about my attempts to live my dreams, it was time for me to change that situation.

As far as people you don’t know being envious of your success:

The most important thing you can do is be humble. Be supportive and encourage others to follow their dreams. Be grateful that your life is going in the direction you want it to go. On the other hand, if you really have an issue with other people’s negative reaction to your success, which you believe prevents you from attempting to be successful, then you are looking at deeper self-esteem issues. The reason I say this is you have created a fantasy resistance and have used that to trick yourself into not trying.

It’s the ultimate ego trip to not to want to “hurt” or cause anyone to be “envious” of your success. Sorry I can’t be more empathetic on this one. It sounds like you never evolved past those high school days where the insecurity of your peers and your need to be accepted was your basic criteria for the decisions you made. As an adult, no matter what you do somebody somewhere is going to be critical. So what?

The envy of others, should be looked at as a compliment.

It means you’re accomplishing something they aren’t. Remember: Envy is the first reaction of those who refuse to take responsibility for the lack of joy and fulfillment in their own lives!

-Bob Baran