The Best Years of Your Life… Now!

There are six billion plus people on this planet.

Each one possessing two basic abilities:

• 1. Imagination.
• 2. Free will to determine how they use their imagination.

Number two is what creates a world where there are six billion plus different versions of reality.

We’ve been blessed and cursed with the ability to rationalize anything we determine is truth. It’s a function of how our mind survives within the 3 dimensional world of our five senses. Rationalization enables the perception of time and place. Without it we would never be able to stand up and walk out of a room. Our ability to rationalize is what makes it possible for us to assume we will stand up and that the same door we used to come into the room, will be there to walk out of.

Now here’s where things get murky…

Our innate ability to rationalize does not require “truth” to be a concrete, scientifically provable, thing or experience. We can rationalize any arbitrary thing or experience as long as we believe it is truth. Therefore what we believe becomes our experience of reality because there is no fail-safe mechanism built into our ability to rationalize, which tells us what is true or real and what isn’t.

So, six billion plus people with an equal number of “realities” are attempting to coexist on this planet. At any given time only a relatively small percentage agree on a common point of reality. Do you think a starving person in Darfur, is concerned with how much the Federal Reserve benchmark rate is today?

The world outside of yourself is the lowest common denominator the majority of humans choose to accept from moment to moment. That’s why you have some parts of the planet living as people did a thousand years ago…because that’s their reality, it’s their truth.

What about your reality?

What lowest common denominators have you accepted as your truth?

-Bob Baran

The first time I wrote about this subject was in 1976.

Still in college, I was building a small part-time multi-level marketing organization… (A little over a year later my wife and I were operating it as full-time business) It was an article for my “Energy Group Marketing Network” newsletter the “Zap”.

One of the biggest challenges I found to the “twenty somethings” who were my core market at the time, was the influence the people they associated with had on their decision making process. If their friends were negative about what they were doing, it was just a matter of time before they would fall by the wayside. The reality is, most people reflect the attitudes, opinions and beliefs of those they associate with.

Whatever your world view may be, you will naturally seek out those who support how you see things.

This is especially true of those people you consider to be a part of your “inner circle”. Even Napoleon Hill, talked about the importance of a “mastermind alliance” in his best selling book: “Think And Grow Rich”. Who you let influence you, will determine many of your attitudes, opinions and beliefs. We humans are social animals. In order to enable our ability to be social we create a series of common points of interest.

Change who you associate with, and you will find your attitudes, opinions and beliefs will also begin to change…because you may change your common points of interest.

I remember using this simple illustration back in 1976: “If you still associate with the group of people you did 5 years ago and you are not living the life you think you should be living… Then it’s time for you to change the people who influence you the most… You are a living example of the limitations they and you affirm with each other”.

Your day-to-day life is the current comfort zone you have accepted as your reality.

Those who most often populate your world become the lowest common denominator of your shared reality. You will always compromise in order to maintain a relationship.

The question is how much and on what will you compromise your true self?

-Bob Baran

I just finished reading an article by Jack and Suzy Welch.

It dealt with a most interesting phenomenon:
The one-time “star” who is no longer willing to carry his or her own weight. The star is someone who may have played an important role in the formation of a company. Maybe it was a brilliant idea, hard work and dedication or a benchmark achievement of some kind which was a great contribution to the success of the company…

The problem is it happened years ago. Because of the accomplishment he or she was given special accord…an almost sacred “insider” position with the organization. Long after the contribution has passed, that individual now just occupies space. Contributes little or nothing to the challenges being faced today. Because of an attitude of entitlement the former star is beginning to “vampire” the energy of his or her co-workers.

It’s the old case of someone trying to get by on their laurels.

Because they did something big, once, they assume their place in the company is assured…Even when their attitude has become disruptive, negative and breeds a growing cynicism amongst co-workers.

Jack and Suzy, call this type of person a “slider”. They slide from the height of success. Once the slide begins it’s seldom reversed. It becomes dangerous when it begins influencing co-workers. A “slider” can destroy an organization… It’s just a matter of time.

Back in the day, we used to call a “slider” a “burn-out”.

Formerly a productive energetic engine of accomplishment, this person is unable or unwilling to achieve a level of consistency. They are distracted and disinterested. The real issue is that the burn-out doesn’t recognize that he or she has become a problem. They have a tendency to blame the current management for their shortcomings and always point to their own past contribution and current lack of appreciation… Even when it has no bearing on what’s taking place now.

Jack and Suzy Welch’s, solution is to remove the individual from the organization before he or she pulls the entire organization down. If you can’t pull your own weight, there’s no longer room in the organization for you. This may be the best solution in a business setting.

It’s not so easy when you’re the “slider” and the “business” happens to be your day-to-day life.

What if you’ve become a “slider”?

A basic unhappiness with your current day-to-day life is the first clue. The second clue is looking back at some point in your life as the highlight, or best time of your life. The third clue is you have no passion for embracing anything new. Even worse: Are you in denial that your day-to-day world is shrinking and you don’t seem to care about it?

When your attitudes, opinions and beliefs turn you into a “self-vampiring cynic”, what can you do about it?

Maybe it’s time to fire yourself!

Your ego may no longer be serving your best interests. (does it ever?) The only way you can “fire” your ego is to begin adjusting those aspects of your attitudes, opinions and beliefs which supports the problem ego.

Look in the mirror. Is that the person you want to believe you really are or a broken approximation of someone you once were?

-Bob Baran

A couple of years ago when I was releasing some of my CD albums, I was able to make contact with someone who had a big effect on my early music career.

I hadn’t been in contact with him for thirty years.

Through the internet, I was able to find him and send an email. When I received his response it was as if thirty years hadn’t passed. Our mutual love of music was still an important part of our lives. Even though we had taken very different life paths, it was good to make this contact.

I was able to thank him for his powerful affect on the direction I took with my musical career. He was surprised because our parting thirty years earlier was the result of the clashing of two immature twenty-two year-old egos!

I didn’t appreciate or fully understand his unwillingness at the time to play “other people’s music”. He was only interested in original music. It wasn’t too long after we parted ways, back then, that I too came to the same conclusion about music: I was going to write and produce my own.

In fact I made a career out of it.

Being able to share this with him gave me great joy. Being able to reach out to those who, you see more clearly with the passage of time, have had a positive affect on your life, is a wonderful way of honoring those who you may never be able to thank.

It helps you to put things into perspective and gives you the joy that comes with expressing gratitude to someone who may never have realized they had a positive influence on your life.

It’s good for you and good for them!

-Bob Baran

Throughout history you see countless examples of power corrupting and influencing the decisions and actions of people.

Why is the pursuit of power and control such a powerful motivator? Beneath the need to exert power over others is an underlying cause:

The need of the ego to not have its view of reality questioned or challenged.

In a situation where absolute power over a given population is achieved, by a ruler, you always see the same scenario. Control over what people think, say and do. The ruler does not want to discuss why he or she chooses to do something. Those who are being ruled are expected not to question those who wield the power.

Ego is that ruler.

The very reason for its existence is to preside over and represent your current world view to the outer world. Because of this, it will not tolerate questions which cause conflict within its rationale. Have you ever tried to reason with someone who’s only reaction is “because I said so”?

The ego wants to extend its control, without being questioned or challenged. This is a normal function of the ego. The problem is when the ego reinforced with power is no longer accountable to anything but itself.

Right or wrong, the ego will not give up any power it has aquirred to assert its view or reality over others. This is a fact of life which when understood can help you avoid unecessary confrontations with egos in power positions. The first thing is to learn how to recognize a power seeking ego:

Its usually a person who displays examples of their “conquests”.

I’ll never forget walking into a potential Client’s office one day and seeing virtually every game animal imaginable stuffed and mounted! My first reaction was to feel sick at the sight. His sick ego was on exhibition…

I moved on!

-Bob Baran