The Best Years of Your Life… Now!

What we consider to be right or wrong changes over time.

As our experience broadens we find certain accepted ways of doing things are no longer valid. What may have felt right 20 years ago may not feel right today.

This is why you have to pay attention to how you feel.

Think of your feelings as an early warning system which alerts you to the quality of a probable outcome before your analytical left brain is able to scan your opinions and beliefs to further verify and support the conclusion already signaled by your feelings. Your feelings are a short-hand method for arriving at the same conclusion of your much slower analytical mind… and is most often much more accurate.

Too many people are in the habit of abandoning their feelings or overriding them with contradictory opinions and beliefs in order to silence them. It’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Your feelings are the most clear and precise indication of what your current capacity is to support a decision with your opinions and beliefs. It’s a hyper efficient process that gives you an instantaneous “read” on your current “state of conscious” without the time wasting process of going through all of your rationalizations.

The bottom line here is paying attention to the feelings. Within them are an accurate reading of who we are and what we actually believe at any given point. More fully embracing and trusting those feelings usually results in much better decision making.

But it takes practice.

Sometimes you don’t want to deal with feelings of fear, uncertainty and doubt. Those feelings are inconvenient to the situation at hand. Feelings of FUD may be telling you that your current inner reality cannot handle a certain decision… yet.

Pay attention!

It doesn’t mean you won’t get there. What it does mean is the route you’re considering may be full of unexpected detours that could be avoided.  A potential reality that your ability to rationalize may not want to consider.

Trusting yourself means trusting the feelings that come with any decisions you make. They will always accurately reflect the most current status of your “self” to bring what you desire into both your inner and outer reality.

-Bob Baran

It is Spring and here in the Rocky Mountains we are finally getting the rain we needed in April.

In fact, one thing you can almost always count on is, if it’s Memorial Day Weekend in Montana, it’s going to rain. Any other time, the weatherman’s guess is as good as yours.

Okay, so the meteorologist’s predictions are educated guesses. I really do admire their work, but even with all the technology they have, each prediction is still an educated guess!

It is interesting how much like the weather our emotions can be. Sometimes you can predict them. On the other hand, they never show up when we expect or are ready for them, then out of the blue a thunderstorm of passion, anger and weeping.

Tears are the water the soul needs to flourish. It is Spring, let the tears flow.

If you have been hanging on to some emotions that need to be flushed out, now is a good time. There is nothing like a good cry to clear the little hurts we don’t even realize we hold close. Forgiveness becomes easier to release with the lubrication of tears.

Yes, Release Forgiveness! Open the flood gate to forgiveness in your life and let its healing waters bathe your soul.

There is no shame in crying. Do it for yourself. Do it for another. Allow yourself some time to release the things you didn’t realize were hurting you.

Have a good cry. Mother Nature is…

- Gwen Baran

In the last post, I said, “If where you want to go feels right, do it. I’m not saying “if it feels good, do it”, I’m saying if it feels right, do it.” I then asked if you knew the difference between right and good. Now, maybe you do… If so you can choose to move on. In case you’re not sure, or curious about what I’m going to say, stick around. I won’t take up much of your time.

Let’s go over the two definitions:

What is Right?

Right is morally good. Something you can justify or accept as true and correct. The best choice, the honorable or ethical choice for your situation. The most honest place inside yourself.

What is Good?

Good is something desired, pleasing or welcome. Something that gives pleasure, is enjoyable or satisfying.

Now in some instances, the two words can be used interchangeably. One of the definitions of good is “possession or displaying moral virtue”. But for the example we were talking about, do you see the difference?

“If it feels good do it!”, is a saying out of the sixties and it didn’t have anything to do with if it was right. It had more to do with the sexual revolution and the drug culture.

With “if it feels right”, there is an acceptance that it is the best direction and the honorable choice. “If it feels good”, there is the warm and fuzzy glow of pleasure.

Doing something because “it feels good” can come with unexpected consequences. For example: an unwanted pregnancy or a drug overdose. It sure felt good at the time! But now look at what you are left with… An unexpected life, brain damage or possibly even a death.

Doing something because “it feels right“, will lead you down the road with the least unpleasant consequences… And, yes, you will still feel good about the direction you are going.

To your successful growth,

- Gwen Baran

For years, I always felt that if there was no resistance to a direction I found myself going in, then I was going in the right direction… And I still believe that.

However, there is a flip side to this “go with the flow” belief and that is, sometimes you are creating something so much larger than yourself that you will run into resistance. That resistance is a test. It says, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

The best way to answer is to sit down, be quiet in yourself and see how you feel.

Then examine the core emotion you have about the place you find yourself… Is it fear? Uncertainty? Doubt? Is there a calmness at your center that says, “Yes, I want to do this. It is bigger than I ever imagined it to be and there is nothing I want to do more… Even if in accomplishing it, my life is changed forever. I trust that the change will be for the best. I am willing to take a stand and be more than I am now. I am willing to grow.”

If there is a calmness, a knowingness of rightness, then you can be certain that you are going in the right direction.

If you are looking at core emotions of fear, uncertainty and doubt, there are two possibilities. Either you are going in the wrong direction or your protection mechanism, that resists change, is up in arms. It may be that at this point in time, taking the direction you think you want to go in is not in your best interests. You aren’t ready for the change or there is danger in that direction at this time.

Still, how do you know? Go with your gut! If where you want to go feels right, do it. I’m not saying “if it feels good, do it”, I’m saying if it feels right, do it. Do you know the difference between right and good? I’ll get to that in the next post.

If it feels right… you’re going in the right direction.

Success to your endeavors,

- Gwen Baran

Ever find yourself going along with life and suddenly, one day you just lose your sense of certainty?

You literally stop dead in your tracks and wonder if everything you thought you were supposed to be doing is what you should be doing?

A momentary lapse?

It’s not so much a crisis your experiencing as it is a strange realization. You really don’t know for sure if the direction your life is taking you is the right direction. In fact, you have this feeling like the rope to the anchor that’s been holding you in place, in the great ocean of life, has just been cut. You’re drifting slowly without power and you have no paddle…The current is now taking you and the boat you’re in, somewhere you’ve never been before.

Do you jump out of the boat and swim back to shore?
Or do you “go with the flow”?

Maybe, just maybe you’re being pulled in the direction you’re supposed to be going. Maybe the pathway you were on was supposed to bring you to some kind of critical mass… and now you’re here. It wasn’t supposed to be some great dramatic awakening, maybe it’s just a little nudge.

At this point do you trust everything is going to work out or do you scramble to regain control? Can you accept the possibility that what you think is “drifting” really isn’t.

Is it possible that you’ve just been given the greatest opportunity of your life to take a leap of faith?

Do you trust yourself enough?

-Bob Baran