The Best Years of Your Life… Now!

Self sabotage is about getting in your own way. There are reasons your mind will throw up road blocks to your success. The most common one is, it doesn’t want to change. Life is good the way it is… even if it really isn’t. The mind’s job is to protect the status quo. It does this with a number of tools.

Fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) are the favorite tools of the mind. Procrastination and encouraging self defeating behavior are some others. Anytime you’re leaving your comfort zone you will encounter one if not all of them.

You may have expended enough energy in procrastination and self defeating behaviors and beliefs, that you could have a seven figure income in a year! All you’d have to do is turn that energy around. Turn procrastination into persistence. Turn self defeating behaviors and beliefs into, “I CAN! I BELIEVE I CAN! I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!”

Did you know you can have anything you want if you give up the belief that you can’t or shouldn’t have it or don’t deserve it?

You CAN! It’s the way life is set up.

The trick is to believe it… To avoid the self sabotage trap. How do you know when you’re in that trap? When you find yourself in situations that cause you to overreact, or you keep making the same mistakes over and over even though you’re aware that the outcome is going to be the same. Then you’re in a self sabotage loop.

How do you break this loop?

• Sometimes it only requires a flip of a mental switch.
• Other times, you will find yourself writing for days and reprogramming your old limiting beliefs with affirmations and visualization.
• Sometimes you need help.

Do you want to stop sabotaging yourself? Or does it serve some purpose that you aren’t even aware of?

Take a moment and look at your life. Are you where you want to be? Are you doing the things you want to do? Are you making the kind of money you deserve?

If not… Why?!? What is holding you back from living your dreams?

The number one cause of not living your dreams, is self sabotage!

Do something about it today.

Take care,

Gwen Baran

P.S. If you haven’t already, you may also want to read this article about the Fear of Happiness.

Nothing happens by accident. Yet there are those who believe the experience of life is based upon random chance.

For those people the experience of life seems to happen in a chaotic “drive by” fashion. Everything comes as a surprise demanding an immediate reaction.

Then there are those individuals who seem to possess the uncanny ability to literally “see” what’s coming before they have to react to it. Because of this they are able to avoid the kinds of things other people are forced to deal with.

Would you call these people lucky?

Why are they always in the right place at the right time? While others seem to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Why are some people able to build a life, while others seem to be constantly treading water? More importantly, why is it that most of the people who live a life full of chaos never make an obvious connection:

Their chaos is the result of their attitudes, opinions and beliefs and the ramifications of previous intent and action. In other words they keep creating their own chaos.

A large portion of the world’s population lives this way.

They actually believe that life is some kind of hell on earth they have to accept as their fate… and that somehow this accepting this fate is going to assure them a better life after death.

There’s an old spiritual saying: As above so below.

Whatever your current state of consciousness, which is your attitudes, opinions and beliefs. happens to be… is what your life experience will reflect. It also implies that life, if it is indeed a continuum, must also, in whatever form of experience it takes after this physical form, will still reflect your current state of consciousness.

If it’s true, that’s a lot of personal responsibility.

-Bob Baran

Do you have a perfectionist always looking over your shoulder? I’m not talking about your boss or a coworker. I’m talking about the inner perfectionist! The one that is always telling you that you’re not good enough, that your work needs one more tweak and then, when you do that “one last tweak” it demands yet another.

• “It’s not good enough yet. It’s not perfect. I need it to be perfect.”

This inner perfectionist is part of your personality. Not everyone has a highly developed one. There are plenty of people out there who can say, “Good enough,” without being plagued by an inner voice that says, “Not so!”

If you, however, have that inner perfectionist riding you, here are some things to consider.

• 1. Is your inner perfectionist keeping you from accomplishing something important?

• 2. Would the project you’re working on have been done quite awhile ago if it weren’t for all the tweaks it “needed” to be perfect?

• 3. Is your inner perfectionist making you miserable?

If you answered yes to any one of the questions above, you aren’t in the driver’s seat. You’re being run around by your subconscious programming.

Do you want to get back in the driver’s seat? Do you want to be the one determining how and where your life is going to go? Then you’ve got to have a heart-to-heart talk with “the perfectionist”.

What do I mean heart-to-heart talk? Isn’t talking to yourself, crazy? No, it’s not. It’s actually how you keep sane. You’ve got to recognize that your subconscious programming has taken on the form of a perfectionist and is derailing your progress by a misguided belief that it is helping you be the best you can be.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being the best you can be! No, what I’m saying is the inner perfectionist has a view of perfection that is not humanly possible. It will ride you until you feel like you’re going nuts. If you feel you’ve reached that point, then it’s time to throw up your hands and say, “Enough!”

I’ll bet the project you’ve been working on is better than good enough. I’d even bet it was better than good enough, a few weeks ago. You have to tell your inner perfectionist, “I’m happy with this the way it is now. If you want to tweak it in the future, fine… But, for now, it is better than good enough and I’m going to put it out into the world.”

This little “heart-to-heart” will put you back in the driver’s seat. Now you just have to deal with your fear of failure or your fear of success.

Good luck,

- Gwen Baran

P. S. Contact us if you want some help with moving beyond the blocks your perfectionist puts in your path.

It came as a shock when I heard about Tim Russert’s passing at the young age of 58.

He was doing what he loved, living a life following his passion when he was suddenly taken. In a blink of an eye he was gone. I had only seen “Face the Nation” a handful of times through the years. But I felt as if I had a personal relationship with Tim Russert.

Why was he special?

In a world full of well rehearsed actors playing at the game of journalism, Tim was the real deal. The natural passion and love he had for what he was doing was not artificially subdued, or “packaged”. It was immediate, honest and engaging. He had achieved a balance between the boy inside, who’s unbounded joy for the adventure of his life was tempered and seasoned by the man who fearlessly showed us that passion. He reached through my “baggage” and cynicism. I trusted him because I felt safe. His energy was coming from an honest place.

I’ll never forget his white-board drawings of the potential red and blue state outcomes during the NBC News coverage of the last presidential race. There he was, with only a marker and his enthusiasm, making what could have been the most boring aspect of the election, the most fascinating thing to consider…

He’s the only reason I kept watching that night.

What made me feel as if I knew him personally was a story he once related about his father:

Tim had reached the point in his personal and financial success where he wanted to buy his father a new car. He told his Dad he could have any car he wanted, even suggesting a Mercedes. His Dad told him a Ford Crown Victoria would be perfect. Tim, surprised at his father’s choice questioned him about it. His father’s reply was that among his friends and neighbors (and in the world he lived in) the Crown Vic was an acceptable and much appreciated symbol representing the gift from a son to his father…In other words, a more expensive car would actually have less meaning.

That story connected me to Tim Russert.

In an instant I understood who he was and where he came from. His wonderful relationship with his father who he referred to a “Big Russ”, reminded me of the special moments I had with my own Father.

You see, Tim Russert had something you can’t fake. He fearlessly showed you his heart. Which is so unusual at the level of success he achieved in network television. His open heart was the source of his passion. That’s what made him a true original.

No matter what he was talking about… I was always glad to see him. I think it was the boy inside me recognizing another kid from my block...

Thank you Tim, for touching my heart and reminding me of what’s really important. Our time together was way too short.

-Bob Baran

It’s Spring and again we’re dealing with weather challenges.

Here in Montana we’re finally getting some significant rainfall. It’s been awhile, so it was no real surprise when I discovered a drainage problem around my new garage. So this morning, I’m out in the rain, in my rubber boots, with mud up to my knees, creating a channel to divert the water before I have a flood inside my garage.

This was a challenging issue for me. Lifting shovelfuls of wet clay while sliding around in the slippery stuff is not my idea of fun. However, I was and am very grateful that my home is on a hillside in Montana and not in the Midwest near a river.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to all those impacted by the flooding and tornados in our heartland. This is another year with weather of epic proportions and the fallout will ultimately affect us all. Due, in part, to the certainty that the cost of food grown in the region will skyrocket after these latest natural disasters.

We will be paying more for food while others have lost their lives, homes, or livelihood. None of it seems fair. Yes, I know, “life ain’t fair”! But I’m not here to just complain.

I’ve always had a fascination with weather and I’ve been involved in self-growth for a long time. Looking at both, it has often amazed me to see the correlation between the natural disasters we, on occasion, have to deal with, and the traumatic emotional states we can go through during personal growth.

Flooding is Mother Nature’s way of dealing with too much water, too fast. It has to go somewhere. Fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) are our mind’s way of dealing with too much change, emotion, or unexpected circumstances, too fast.

When we are flooded with FUD, our whole being is in danger of being carried away. You may feel like the person who is watching his or her home go floating down the river. Overwhelmed and helpless.

Unlike a flood that takes or destroys your home, you do have the ability to control the flood of emotions you may be experiencing because of some change going on in your life. It may not feel like you have any control, but you do.

Let’s all take a moment to be grateful for what we have. Be grateful that when our emotional flooding comes there is help and let’s send our thoughts and prayers to those dealing with Mother Nature’s flooding in the Midwest.

Thank you,

Gwen Baran