The Best Years of Your Life… Now!

It’s a dangerous place you find yourself when the natural progression of
your journey into self-discovery takes you somewhere – you suddenly realize
- no one else seems to have been.

Is this the thin “line of insanity” everyone talks about?

Where your thinking, rationalizing and expecting has taken your life to a place you
didn’t expect. Ramifications you didn’t want to consider because the need to discover
where you were “going” became your primary focus.

Consider yourself lucky if you manage to find someone who actually understands how
you got to the new “place” even if they may not understand what the “place” is. At least
you have the potential of a conversation… Maybe some much needed validation.

Am I right? Am I wrong? Do I continue or back away?

Every artist has faced this when jumping off the cliff into the unknown
with his or her art. Going somewhere new without having any “ken of reference”
is both scary and thrilling… But, when it’s not music, paint or sculpting, et al,
and it’s your very experience of life – and you have no one to ask “what do
you think?”- because they have never thought about it…

The realization that you may be “the first” to begin the process of pondering (asking the question) – you find that the only person you can seek validation from is yourself…

Am I “nuts” because I can clearly “see” the natural evolution of a thought process
and contemplate the outcome before the “manifested thing, experience or relationship”
has even arrived? Or am I engaged in the very “process of manifestation” – by allowing
myself a choice of outcome and then expecting and rationalizing it into existence?

And what about the price?

In the end, one’s sanity may be solely judged by his or her ability to bridge the
space/time between fantasy and reality – with manifestation…

To what end?

Maybe the experience of life is simply for us to prove the validity of the fantasy as well as prove the “process of manifestation”… Maybe anything really is possible and once you “get it” you don’t have to prove it anymore.

Until then you’re stuck.

If you feel like something’s missing in your life you must read my article and watch my video “Something Is Missing”.

On a lighter note: Here’s a video of “When Love Comes Again” from my new web site Our Special Secret.com hope you enjoy! click here

Bob Baran

A good friend of mine just related a disturbing fact:

She was overcome with nightmares of a past abusive experience when recently faced with a decision to move forward in an area of personal growth.

My first reaction when she shared this information with me was to fire her therapist!

From my perspective and in my opinion, my friend has been kept in a psycho-analytical box that has done little to neutralize the “emotional resonance” of a traumatic experience going back over 40 years. And, my friend has been in “therapy” for many, many years…

Layers of rationale and justification have been created as a reaction to the event

The subsequent “therapy” has continued to build upon that mountain of rationale – rather than providing her with a methodology for adjusting and neutralizing the emotional impact of the event.

In other words, my friend has spent years in a course of therapy that has attempted to adjust her to living with the event as opposed to turning the event into a non-emotionally charged memory – breaking the “loop” of triggered reaction.

IE: An experience that can be “viewed” without emotion.

Which is what we ultimately categorize as a “normal memory”. It may not be a pleasant memory but it doesn’t cause trauma when “viewed” 40 years later. And, it doesn’t “haunt” our ability to make rational choices in our day-to-day life.

In the Intentional Prosperity System I spend a great deal of time explaining the phenomenon of “emotional ghosts” – the term I use for unresolved emotional memories – and how the “broad stroke of unresolved emotional memory” can be easily triggered by new situations which have nothing more in common with the traumatic memory than a “hint” of a similar “emotional flavor”…

The “triggering mechanism” is highly exaggerated in an individual who suffers from post traumatic stress disorder.

Think of a “radar” that is set to such a high sensitivity that a bird is “seen” as an incoming enemy missile with a nuclear warhead. That’s how even the “hint” of emotional resonance associated with a past traumatic event is processed and reacted to by someone with P.S.T.D.. Going to a full scale reaction of “10″ (on a scale of 1-10) when the reality of the situation would only justify a “1″ is typical. A bit of caution or a question – not a fight or flight response.

The net result of years of avoiding anything which triggers a “10 reaction” has created a box which my friend who is obviously very unhappy with several aspects of the life her 40 years of avoidance has created.

With so many well established emotion- neutralizing techniques available

-many which are covered in depth in the Intentional Prosperity System – it is painful to see a friend continue to suffer a life experience that comes short of real joy and fulfillment – because of a lack of understanding why emotional triggering takes place and how to minimize and “remove” the unresolved emotional trauma which continues to impact my friend’s life.

Emotional triggering that has over time become a highly rationalized and justified habit.

Avoiding anything that even remotely feels like the “resonance” of the original trauma – leaves one stuck in a reactive ego/personality and robs one from exploring the imagination and possibilities using discernment as the ultimate determination of “yes or no”.

For what it’s worth I’m a proponent of Cognitive Therapy. But, as in anything, you’ve got to find someone who really knows what they’re doing…

Too many of us know that our lives are missing something. I have an article and a video that focuses on why we feel that way and what we can do about it. Is something missing in your life?

On a lighter note: Here’s a video of “When Love Comes Again” from my new web site Our Special Secret.com hope you enjoy! click here

-Bob Baran

Healing and recovering from emotional trauma – the end of a relationship, thing or experience – doesn’t have guidelines

You can’t check your progress against some kind of accepted norm.

When emotional trauma causes the ego to collapse – if allowed to, the ego goes into self defense mode. Doing everything it can to maintain reality – even though a significant change has taken place.

The so-called steps of grieving aside – when it comes to healing from the breakup of a relationship – the degree of connection and how much you compromised on your “truth” in order to maintain the relationship – suddenly becomes a very painful – loud – reminder of one overwhelming and once again self evident truth…

Your “relationship reality” and who you became is what you talked yourself into in order to maintain the relationship.

You rationalized, compromised and became what you believed was necessary to continue the relationship. You made so many small “adjustments and compromises” over time – you would never recognize yourself – if you could “see” who you were at the peak of that relationship experience…

Now here’s the thing:

You can take a quick fix on the emotional pain by pointing a finger at the one who “betrayed” you – which from the ego’s standpoint would of course always be the “other” person in the relationship.

Then allow your ego to “run amok” – as it attempts to avoid pain -and you will invariably walk away from the experience convinced you were the victim… And, you’ll feel temporary relief.

“Hey, it wasn’t my fault because…”

Unfortunately, when you’re the victim no growth takes place. Because a victim absolves his or her self from personal responsibility.

(Obviously in some situations there really are victims – but I’m not talking about that – so let’s not go there now)

Denial of personal responsibility is just “pain deferred”.

I’m talking about the one-time pain of untangling your layers of justification – (maybe not so painful really) and recognizing that you made decisions all along – whatever the dynamics of the situation may have been – which led to the experience you had.

And, your decision to consciously choose to vindicate yourself by wearing the mantle of “victim” – means in reality – you are just setting yourself up for yet another experience where you once again empower yourself to become the victim.

Tomorrow: Part Two: Real Healing

On a lighter note: Here’s a video of “When Love Comes Again” from my new web site Our Special Secret.com hope you enjoy! click here

-Bob Baran

Taking The Hit…

What if I told you one the of secrets of personal growth and evolution – that is really learning from your life experiences – was to have the courage to take full responsibility for whatever happens to you?

Does it drive your “sense of justice” crazy?

No way will you accept the blame! Especially when it’s absolutely the “other guys” fault!

Or, do you actually “get” what I’m trying to say here?

Your Ego wants to blame. It will never take responsibility for what “goes wrong” in your life. Ego will come up with every reason imaginable to shift blame.

Being the King or Queen of your reality – ego needs to be infallible – It’s nature and purpose is to always be right. If it’s in control of how you perceive your life experience – no matter what you say about acting from your “higher self” or taking the “high road” – your ego will eventually make sure you’re “vindicated”.

You’ll always be the innocent victim.

In other words, ego will never take the blame for anything that goes wrong in your life – but will be the first to take all the credit for anything that appears to be moving in the right direction…

Here’s the deal:

Unless you can “let go” and personally disconnect yourself from a life experience, you’ll never be able to view it objectively. If you can’t look at your life from the perspective of an “engineer” – who is willing to look at why you acted or reacted the way you did- you’ll never see the truth.

You’ll miss the incredible lesson that will teach you something profound about yourself. The real reasons why you act and react the way you do will continue to be hidden from you.

If you don’t learn from your life experiences – you’re doomed to repeat the same outcome – again and again until you “see” the truth about how – and why – you act and react – the way you do to life situations.

So, take the “hit”…

Have the courage to accept full responsibility for whatever happens to you – and you’re going to experience an astonishing transformation in your life…

You’re actually going to grow and evolve…

Instead of continuing to blame and wondering why your life just seems to stay the same…

On a lighter note: Here’s a video of “When Love Comes Again” from my new web site Our Special Secret.com hope you enjoy! click here

-Bob Baran

Back in May I thought I was done…

5 months later it’s been like a lifetime of experiences – and realizations from my life’s journey I need to share:

There are three distinct parts to you. This is the “triangle” of who you are at anytime. On the bottom left of the triangle is your rational/irrational mind. On the bottom right is your emotional mind. Above those two is the “Observer”- what cognitive therapists refer to as the “wise mind”…

You’ve experienced the Observer. It’s that part of you that “watches” the other two parts of you as they take over and react to life’s situations in a manner that the Observer is as surprised as those who may also be experiencing the same situation with you.

You know how it feels. It’s like you’re watching someone else react even though it’s you or I should say the lower left or right side of the three parts that comprise your whole. We’ve all been there. Some of us way too often… And the negative realities of our current day-to-day life echoes all those times we lost touch with our higher self – the Observer.

Your “personality” is a construct – a mental mechanism – which attempts to balance the lower left and lower right parts of yourself. In some of us – when we are out of balance the “personality” overrides the Observer and goes into autopilot – automatic reactions – triggered habits from years and decades past which may no longer apply to who we think we are but become how we deal with what faces us in the moment when the “stimulus” ignites and plays the recordings of those habits – habits we may not even be conscious of until the instant they “take over”.

Then we experience our worst fears…

And our true self – the Observer – watches our life dream suddenly shift into a nightmare – as our personality construct takes even greater control over how we react to the situation – as it justifies it’s reactions by rationalizing what it’s feeling… Usually fear.

If it continues out of control – we literally experience a personality change…

But here’s the thing…

Just below the surface – your true self – the Observer – is always waiting and ready to reassume control over your other parts. The thing is- you have to “let go” of personality control. Consciously disconnect yourself from the overriding “personality program” and allow your true self to re-acquire how you continue to react.

True self – the Observer – will break the power of the autopilot only when you consciously override the personality construct…

Remember: YOUR PERSONALITY IS NOT WHO YOU REALLY ARE!

How do you begin to re-acquire your true self? You first have to realize what’s going on. Your personality construct is going to fight you with a lot rationale about why it should continue down the path it’s chosen for you. It’s promise of greater happiness is usually a huge lie – because of all of the misery it’s creating for you along the way…

How do you know the difference between your personality construct ruling your life versus your true self – the Observer?

Your personality construct is constantly justifying itself. It will supply you with endless reasons, blaming, excuses – all designed to keep itself in control. It will also throw a lot of fearful feelings on you. Literally changing how you perceive reality in order to more fully support it’s assumptions. It will twist the truth without you realizing it.

On the other hand your true self – the Observer – never has to justify itself. It is always safe, calm and knowing. It never experiences fear, uncertainty and doubt – how can it? It’s your higher self.

Do you see the difference between the two?

In tomorrow’s blog post I’m going to explain how to re-acquire your true self when you are “stuck” in a reactionary personality construct.

I’m speaking from direct recent experience here…

On a lighter note: Here’s a video of “When Love Comes Again” from my new web site Our Special Secret.com hope you enjoy! click here

-Bob Baran